Hold on to what is good...

There are some days that you miss a loved one so much, that the pain becomes unbearable. Every little mundane task of life seems to monumental to go through and no matter where you turn, everything serves a constant reminder of the one you are missing. Pretty yellow flowers I see on my way to the park everyday sting like thorns today; going "outshide" as Arnav used to say just seemed so hard today. He loved the breeze blowing in his face but the same breeze brought tears to my eyes as it lightly touched my face this evening. The why and why not's of wishful thinking overtake my entire existence. There are days when life seems content but never complete and I think I just have to learn to live this way.

These words of Nancy Wood (Nancy C. Wood, Doubleday, 1974) seem strangely comforting:

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.  Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.  Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.  Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.  Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.

I hold you dear, in my heart, but yearn so much to hold you in my arms. Just wish this one wish of my heart comes true...soon. 

Arnav's mom